- What This Is:
Here we go again, another week of WWE and TNA reviews (not recaps) as if you are suffering alongside of me. We’ll watch some, fast-forward through a bunch more. In lieu of upcoming changes slated for January 2010, this will be one of the last normal weeks of wrestling prior to the holiday weeks of clip shows and reruns. ECW may not exist next month and TNA will be moving to Mondays… Who will Orton crepe this week?
This Week’s Shows (Dec. 10 – 12, 2009):
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TNA
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- Nash and Foley bit. Nash promises Foley a one on one talk with Hogan tomorrow… Foley is leaving the show for the night for Nashville to talk with Double J. and Nash is in charge for the evening. Shades of WCW tonight?
- Eric Young and Big Kev start the non-matches off with in ring promo’s… Nash promises a show tonight being in complete charge to a mixed reaction (yep boos abound and cheers). Nash lists the matches for the night… interesting reactions from the crowd but its notable that his holiness, “the Pope” gets a huge impact zone reaction… Ha ha Big Sexy has 2 hours left on the viagra and will run in when the Beautiful people battle themselves in a mud wrestling match…
- Foley backstage bit, best part when he talks to Russo briefly and asks him to write a vignette where Dixie Carter actually returns his calls…
I came here to ruin the things you love…
- Timmah!!! Living a lie, Timmah!!! match with the British Invasion versus Chris Sabin (handicap match, retard). Short buses are rolling with a ten minute time limit, or so TNA tells us. Of course it ends short, but Sabin drops a sweet looking two leg dropkick on two Brits and sets up the third for the win! I love the MCMGs, so good…
- “You think that’s the first time she’s been on my chest?” Steiner retorts to Hemme referring to a pic of KKKrystal Lashley’s image on his T-shirt. CLASSY!
- Steiner with his choice of partner, Awesome Kong, versus the Lashleys. I appreciate this setup, but am going 1/5 FFW speed on it. KKKrystal will be getting KILLED in this one… maybe not… looks like Kong attacked Steiner… they still win though… Ok, the Steiner doing the pushups on the prone KKKrystal… I guess Scott beat Orton (yep) to the creping this week!!!
- Joe without face makeup backstage, huh… Beer money is out. Cool little promo (but we’ve had too many of them already).
- Beautiful People backstage are protesting Lacey vs Velvet Sky mud match… Nash defends the ratings and money and the ladies’ whorishness kick in for benefit of all fans of objectifying women! Anything for money… Awesome Nash, awesome!
- More clips… fuck! FFWAF!! Break to Tenay and clips of Hogan at UFC = patience wearing thin, FFW…
- ODB versus Tara later in a Trailertrash throwdown requiring each opponent to drink a 6 pack prior the match… well this is becoming quite the opposite of RAW’s PG rating, huh? And honestly, with RAW’s stale rehash host premise, I am starting to wonder which show I will watch Monday’s in the near future…
- Hamada vs Young in mixed gender match… Young’s promo prior asked her to pull out all the stops and it might be an initiation into the World Elite… Hamada pulling awesome moves vs Young (flippy floppy shit) which Young has to use heel tactics to win. WAY TOO SHORT!
- Tara and spider (both drunk) are out to throw down with Old Dirty Bitch.
Drunk as fuck…
- Watching two great females wrasslers grapple… turns into a garbage match, I start screaming “This is awesome!” clap-clap-clap, clap, clap… my nieghbours are now phoning the police… ladder shots and dives!! Wow! Tara accidently threw a garbage can lid into the crowd, her face says “I fucked up!!” Yep, ODB = Sandman and Tara = Mickey Whipwreck tonight!! Loved this match. Short logically this time…
- Dudleys, Rhyno, Sign Guy Dudl… err Jesse Niel… Bubba on the mic. He tells us Pope is not coming… smart, take the guy with the best crowd pops out. Genius. We still get Suicide, Hernandez, and Morgan AND another fucking commercial break… sigh….FFW
- 2/5 speed here…. not caring since the Pope ain’t here, I am guessing he’ll run out near the end… Suicide botched an arm drag (Kaz, what are you doing???)… I’m wrong, Niel gets the pin!?!? WTF? There’s the run in, Pope brings in a cane and clears the ring… Meh, could have been much better. Fuck Jesse Niel…
-Some shit happens… and then its mud match time!
This IS coincidently an AWESOME album by Swell…
- Typical and what you’d expect, everyone gets into the mud and its over before you know it… teenage boys finished a while back anyways…
- Soon to be future-endeavoured Jay Lethal is out, remember he lost to a potential money gimmick vs the Anvil weeks back? Yeah, that wasted idea… Now he is calling out Hogan? Whatever…
- Wow Double J looks homeless… Him and Foley bicker over Hogan and Dixie stuff…
- AJ is taking on Wolfe… Angle is out for commentary this week, and here we go… No Whammies, please be good… Well it started good, Angle was great at putting over both opponents on commentary until Daniels came out and made this one a short bullshit finish… fuckballs…
- Foley and J x 2 continue their soap opera… and Jeffey will be at Impact next week… I guess…
Sort of like Russo’s booking, huh?
Final Fukken Thoughts: Usual too many promos, too short match BS. AJ and Wolfe could’ve been better if they let them go, but hey, it’s TNA… A lot of potential but no Raven and Daffney (and Stevie) is not cool… At least there were fewer Hogan promos. I give Tara/ODB best match of the night as it ended quickly in a logical way since weapons were involved and you don’t see women grapplers pull off this type of match ever (if often).
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Smackdown
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- We kick off with clips, so FFW…. then we get “BAD”tisita (as a clever fan’s sign tells us) to cut a bland promo…
- CM Punk and Luke Gallows are out, Punk starts off with a shill (veiled dis) for Jeff Hardy’s DVD (sell it before he’s charged)… Punk tells the parents in the crowd they might as well stuff their kid’s stockings with Hallucinogenic mushrooms instead… wow, kids today get all the cool presents!!
Dude ate the whole thing! “I never meant to give you mushrooms, girl… never meant to take you to my world…”
- They are out to battle R-Truth and Matt Hardy with a bag… when Truth yells “what’s up” Punk yells “Straight edge!” And goes on to berate during the song while Matt hands out drugs to the crowd… DVDs, but apparently the same thing… man I miss ALL the good live events.
- After a decent battle, Luke Gallows takes out Hardy for the win…
- some promo shit between Vickie and Escobar, meh… enjoyed Knox’s beard and Kane bit where Knox has become the random fact guy… kind of funny
- Escobar is fighting Jericho? Y2J save us!! He probably will…
Grabbed a snack during the commercial break
- Ah fuckballs, this match is sucking.. gets worse as Katie Vicki is “excuse-me”ing Big Show in for a handi-crap match. Its a predictable beatdown… and Jerishow finish the jabroni uber-fast. Meh… should’ve FFW’s (you can still too if you are reading this!!!) Wait, Y2J on the mic… nice little promo, me likey…
- I’m going to listen to this off and on between non-promo segments…
- McIntyre vs … promo time.. more shilling of WWE products! Drew points out even though Vinnie-mac personally signed him and whored him as a future champ, he can’t even make the cover. Let’s be realistic Drew, not be over-drawn, Morrison makes the cover because the casual viewer KNOWS who he is… sorry satchmo… Ha ha, Morrison comes out dressed as William Wallice. Funny sidenote, I was once room mates with one of Wallices descendents… cool huh?
- Funny x 4 as John Wallice does a funny little shtick… its a cool back and forth Scottish stereotype fest! Worth the watch. No match here though, got swerved folks!
- I guess Kane and Knox fought, don’t care about that part… then we are treated to DX and the midget shilling shit… yawn. You know this is getting bad when you start missing X-Pac… fucksakes…
- Wow, I’m getting hated in on the Project Nation… funny shit… needs more editing. Oh and use a pop screen, to eliminate heavy breathing… Gunsage can barely be heard in this broadcast at first.
- meanwhile we watch Michelle McCool and Mickie James continue the piggy shit… lame… getting bored so FFW…
- hype videos, so FFW!!!
- PPV hype FFW!!!
- Streetfight time!! Rey should logically get a win before he gets put on the shelf at PPV to get a scheduled surgery… A good fight ensues, but Rey gets beaten… Undertaker runs in for a brief setup for the PPV beatdown. And somewhere a new viewer thinks they are exposed to original genius writing…
… no just kidding. There are no new viewers..
- Final Thoughts: Meh, some good… but the latter half of the show got a recycled feeling… Just like my only reference on the latest Station Nation is related to, ECW, I might as well TRY to watch one of the last episodes… it will be reformatted soon from what the IWC is saying…
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ECW
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- Vlad versus Zeke, and its going to suck… I can’t watch this… oh wait Regal gets in the way trying to salvage his stable. He’s on his knees…
Thank you GunSage
- Benjamin is out and cuts the music… appeals to Regal to let’em fight… stop being British (well he didn’t say it, he implies it). …and Christian and Yoshi come in to back up Shelton… They verbally spar until Tiffany (did I get the right number of “f”s?) and makes the Russion and Black dude battle to decide what type of match happens… 6 man TT match tonight.
meh…
- But wait! It gets worse, sorry Vance Archer, I just don’t care… really don’t. The guitar hero shit on TNA was better than this, and I STILL FFW’d through that garbage… aww fuck he’s fighting a real wrestler named Tommy Dreamer (the last remaining real ECW original we are told… fucking weak, this promotion was murdered and raped… and say goodbye to it sometime soon).
- Well we are getting a long match… makes me thing Dreamer might be the best trainer for new talent, but it still was being FFW’d on setting 1/5. Archer is not really doing anything for this smark…
- Burchill has a masked identity as the Ripper (hymen style with his sister) so he can reappear on ECW to fight the Green Lantern. Shane Helms or something… yawn… I’m going to XBL and pausing the fuck out of this…
- Ok, I back sort of… didn’t catch the name of this new tag team in a squash match. They have forgettable generic WWE names and I guess they are gamers…
- Mainevent: Christian/Yoshi/Benjamin vs Regal/Vlad/Zeke… For some reason the ECW title is hanging above the ring. WTF is this noise? Is this a title match? The faces are working Regals left arm, smart psychology until he tags in Vlad…
- A fun match with lots of action, the ongoing break storyline between Regal’s group has Zeke drop Vlad for not tagging in outside the ring… leads to a countout. Benjamin hits a SWEET 360 flip onto Zeke and Regal. Christian sets up a ladder to get the title… Benjamin jumps from the middle of the top rope onto the ladder (which almost collapses!)… they yell at each other at the top as the show ends… I am glad I got to this match! Even though it made no sense that the title would even be hanging, it set up a very cool finish.
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Off the Record – Hogan is the Guest
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- I planned at watching this, but the PVR recorded fucking curling instead… so I will check it online, so can you. You’ll need to check the podcast or streaming video section of the page for this.
- If you watch/read/listen to ANY Hogan stuff, this is the best out there right now.
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PLEASE NOTE
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- Ok I pulled the trigger on this a little early this week. I have no clue if I will get to Vintage Collection or Superstars this week. I’m told there is some good shit on Superstars, but time is not my friend for the weekend. Since Sunday I have prior commitments, I will try to watch TLC online somewhere… I do want to see Christian and Benjamin put on what should be a ladder match clinic.
- RAW is three hours Monday and features the Slammy Awards! Dennis Miller hosts… umm… we’ll see. My goal is to review it for either next week’s installment or as a one-off Injection of Wrestling like I sometimes do with TNA.
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Other “News”
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- More information about Eddie Fatu (Umaga) is being released. He suffered two heart attacks, although the first one rendered his brain inactive. He was apparently slated to return to the WWE for the Royal Rumble. Rumor has it that WWE was working on a tribute package that did not make the air on RAW.
- There is a ton of internet retorts against the WWE for not doing anything related to Umaga’s passing on RAW, way too many links to post…
- According to PWI, WWE is planning a tour of China in 2010. Although incredibly unlikely, it would be a treat to have RAW/SD tapings from across the Pacific…
- Misreported here last week, it appears that the move of TNA to Monday nights is to stick in that timeslot (we’ll see). I’m not too sure how this will affect the reviewing of shows for this series. You might expect some changes to An Injection of Wrestling” in the near future.
- Andrew Martin (Test) was discovered to have suffered traumatic brain damage akin to that of Chris Benoit. This is notable as it adds weight to the arguments made in the wake of the Benoit tragedy and on the heels of Eddie Fatu’s passing. Read more here.
- TNA is to run a four hour “New Year’s Knockout Eve,” on December 31st. Not sure if it will be a clip show of the year (likely) or new content considering how far in advance they run their tapings. Either way, record it and go out and enjoy the party! DO NOT STAY AT HOME (I plan on robbing your house while you’re out!).
- Various Hogan rumors I keep reading: Russo and Hogan have yet to speak to each other, Hogan wants to bring back a four sided ring, RVD to TNA, TNA to add a second show in 2010,
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Recommended Reading
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Here’s some stuff worth checking out that I stumbled upon through the week for you smarks wanting more. And, they are likely better written than I could do.
- Lance Storm is back with some excellent writing this week. The best article to check out is how he thinks Hogan should be booked in TNA.
- ROH fans should check out this contract by current booker Cornette with the fans. Jim Cornette’s latest rant is a good one, and includes an explanation about his involvement in TNA being a move of spite against the WWE.
- I don’t necessarily “recommend” you read Dixie Carter’s twitter (i do not personally endorse the medium), however if you are interested in TNA developments and tweet anyways.. click here.
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Random Morphine Reference:
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- Sometimes video games can be polarizing amongst gamers. GunSage has an excellent account of such an experience between himself and Morhine Nation founder, Morphine Jim.
Too much wrestling to sit through all of it…FFW that shit people! Until next week or another time, I’m out!
Tags: crepe, dirt, hey, I just published this garbage!, impact, RAW, Reviews, sheets, Smackdown, squared circle, Television, tna, Vintage Collection
The Black Pope D’Angelo Dinero is a fucking awesome character.
Like, everything about him is just so fresh and appealing. His theme music is an excellent hook, as well. It’s unmistakably his, it catches your attention immediately, and it’s just well-written.
He really is that good. I loved him back in the ‘E, even though they obviously underutilized Pope, you could tell his holiness has “it.” When they released him and I heard he was going to TNA, I was worried he would go the Shannon Moore route… what a treat that they have allowed him to develop into as you put it, the freshest guy on the roster. I sincerely hope the Hoganization of TNA doesn’t hurt him at all. With a new TNA show in the near future coming, this guy could carry a show on his back. More time hopefully will allow for more match time and allow the massive roster to better utilized.
I am still loving the new flock too (but I read somewhere Raven was missing a taping which means a couple episodes without).
Pope’s just the newest induction to the list of names WWE didn’t know how to use properly, but has gone on to great success in spite of it. What’s surprising is, Matt Morgan is on the list as well. He isn’t exactly Lou Thez, but he actually looks important in TNA.
I have a “Wait and See” attitude with the impending Hogan Era of TNA. I REALLY can’t see him wrestling a lot, even if at all, due to his health issues, and I can see him giving Russo the heave-ho. God damn us all if Ed Leslie shows up, though.