TNA is getting the solo treatment tonight. Might as well throw down the suffering a bit early for the Patman and the rest of the smarks out there…

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TNA

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- Last week we had a lot of matches, something we fans regularly rip on TNA for lacking (albeit most of the were short)…. I got an H1N1 zombie flu shot today and apparently if is going to fuck me up, it’ll happen during this show’s review… let’s see what happens!!!

…bullets to the head won’t stop some of these guys.

- Desmond Wolfe is in the ring, cage and all. Cuts a promo on “Mangle.” PPV match will be “3 degrees of pain” (i.e. 3 falls – pin, submission, escape the cage in that order). Angle is out ready to rumble…

How to ruin a promotion

-Angle climbs into the locked cage and unleashes his fury… I am enjoying this feud… brass knucks by Nigel/Desmond drops the Mangler

- If Russo is booking, I have to (shudder) give the guy credit for his idea. I like this 2/3 falls match idea very much. It’s smark.

- TNA shows a holiday shopzone ad which is actually fun, the gem here is Joe drop kicking a package into the back of a delivery truck.

- Angle wants a match with Nigel, Foley will grant it if he fills him in on the Hogan thing with Dixie (it would be awesome if it turns out to be a real life Tiger Woods style affair…).

- Wanker Invasion is out… Fuck yeah, Alex Shelley accompanied by Sabin fighting… Doug Williams I guess. When was the last time Alex got us down with the sickness? Great match folks… Shelley for the win!

- Pope and Suicide (who speaks, don’t remember if he has before…) Pope wants him to join up. Again, we’ve seen two great performers tonight in Wolfe and the Pope showing us why WWE doesn’t understand what they’ve lost. Silly Vince, wrestling is for fans!

- D-Lo Brown? Foley still wants answers and Brown has nothing, will he stick around? Foley is still rocking his pirate eye patch.

- Battle of the “‘cides” Homicide vs Suicide… suicide gets the win, Homicide gets the post-match beat-down, tries to demask, Pope run in… kind of predictable due to the sketch we saw earlier.

- Beautiful People and Daniels might work together and then cut to ODB and Tara are in the ODB show thingy… this has sucked before. Meh…

- More Meh, Jessie Neil versus Pope, I’m guessing a Suicide run in it likely… yep, ok match but pretty much the exact same thing as the other match until all the teammates for the four way run out… nothing happens. Should’ve done this next week to at least BUILD the tension. Sigh…

Good building of a plot line or a castle or someshit takes time.

- The “Legends” title is officially the “Global” title now (see: I.C. title). Nash/Young versus Beer Money. There was a recap of Hogan coming across almost like he is pleading to people to watch TNA for him… shouldn’t that have been the first thing we ever saw after the announcement? How many casual fans have already lost patience. Ratings seem to suggest all of them.

- Young piledrives Storm and its over, as it should be. It’s a piledriver people, no one should EVER kick out of that.

- Nash and Foley battle on the mic over the Hogan thing… Nash tells Foley will be out of a job. Have we EVER seen Foley and Hogan before?

- Nash says he has some old bandmates coming… Is Razor sober? Let’s take a poll.

“Eh, yo chico, can’t you tell I say ‘eh’ ’cause I’m secretly Canadian?”

- They cut off Nash early. Hmm… why? Oh yeah, TNA doesn’t protect their talent (i.e. Sabin promo) thus I think they don’t trust him anymore, must’ve been off of script. Great segment.

- God no!! Bobby Lashley mic segment. Does not matter what he says, take that sound amplifying device away from him… FFWAF!! KKKrystal takes the mic, stop for a second.. FFW…

Mic skills get you shot, Lashley plays it safe

- Daniels promo talks about change being all around in TNA. Last week was a change, this week brings more balance, still many a promo abound. Him versus Abyss is up next, not an Abyss fan.

- Thus, FFW:

Totally unrelated, I am already bored.

- AJ Styles is on commentary, bet on interference. FFW 2/5 speed… Beautiful People = stop, they attack Lauren backstage for distraction win. AND… there’s the run in. AJ is attacked from behind by some dude dressed in black. More mystery attacker shit commences…

- But wait there’s more:

- Tenay interviews Dixie (MILF, maybe): Sting = essential, Hogan might inspire him? Dixie awaits, kayfabe I’m sure. Double J = personal situation affected the company (Karen Hogan obviously). Hogan = he flew to her house, fuflled her fantasy (I’d bet), and he is the man if Dixie has anysay. His role will be working very closely with her in every capacity? Brother… dude, brother… propaganda.

- Hogan interview putting over Carter and shit… yawn FFW!

- Desmond ‘n Foley interview. Wolfe questions how easy it is to ask for a match. Desmond asks if he could challenge Steiner to a spelling bee! Ha ha!! Yeah. Foley phones Double J who tells him to shove it.

- Hamada versus Sarita…. I guess it’s on FFW right now.

- Foley tells Angle he is not fighting Desmond tonight… mainevent going, going, gone. “Tweaks” the match and makes a handicapped match vs Dr. Stevie and Raven (sweet)… Foley explains the ploy but Daffney is on TV so…

- The problem with this is that if Angle wins and ruin a great start of a new Flock… Abyss comes in, match is short (all were tonight) allows for Angle win, Desmond is out, and the usual nonesensical TNA clusterfuck ensued… why are these programs even linked? Oh yeah, Russo…

Final Thoughts: Been good with the H1N1 symptoms so far, my arm hurts like a… whoops, final thoughts on TNA!! My Fault…sorry. Some good, some bad. A better balance of matches and segments, but no match was really given enough time. Bad bad bad mainevent. Overall watchable… they’re making some improvements yet finding a way to make the same mistakes.

This entry was posted on Friday, December 4th, 2009 at 1:37 am and is filed under Reviews, Television, Wrestling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.