Normally I lump everything into one article, so here is a version showcasing RAW and the D shows like Vintage Collection, and ECW. This week I wrote a individual articles for Smackdown and iMPACT. Links are provided within. No Superstars since WGN Chicago chooses not to air it…

…oh and I suffer through RAW first tonight… even though it’s published out of chronilogical* order. Big words spult rong!

Disclaimer: I regularly misspell particular wrestlers and team names. Sheamus and Cryme Tyme are likely the two worst offenders… sorry about that.

This Week’s Shows (Feb 4 – 8, 2010):

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RAW

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- As often on RAW, we start with a recap of last week… and normally I FFW the shit out of that. Since it is Bret Hart (from my hometown of Calgary, Alberta, Canada) and the build to the road to WrestleMania, I watch as giddy as I can be.

- Speaking of WrestleMania, we got something HUGE planned for the PPV here at Project Wonderboy! It looks like a cross promotional project as well. I don’t want to start any rumours until everything is a lock, but remember to check out Project Wonderboy on Saturday March 27th for more!

I bet you expected a Donald Trump reference, huh? Oi!

- Hornsswoggle and Kelly x 2 = her name introduce 2007 NASCAR champion Carl Edwards as host. I already don’t care. Whilst trying to keep an open mind… He goes for the cheap pops since the WWE are in Louisiana, and refers to the New Orleans’ Saints Superbowl win! I am no huge NFL fan, but did catch the event… Manning’s little error near the end was a wee bit of a shocker!

Not even Spiderman can save you now Manning…

- Cena is getting props, so naturally Sheamus is out to cut in. Carl tries to talk with the champ, but the blinding paleness of Sheamus makes it hard to focus… oh shit! Christian is out! YES! Captain Charisma is here to teach everyone in the ring how microphones + talent = “mic skills.” Interesting… he notes Edge’s neglection to consider facing the ECW champ and the subsequent announcement by McMahon that ECW is dead in two weeks time… Shame-on-us tries to retort (rookie mistake).

- “Actually Smaggletooth, you’re the one that’s lame.” Christian on Sheamus. Damn, Christian… rules. “Do you run out of money when you get to the tanning salon?” Brilliance. Christian notes that every star on ECW becomes a free agent and can sign to any show they like. I dig that. Christian will face Sheamus tonight. “We’re both here, we’re both champions, and we were both born with out last names!” And the match begins…

- This gets a full segment. Sheamus generally looked strongest during the match, but Christian carried it. The ECW champ looked good when given his offensive rushes… it makes sense that after Sheamus hit his modified Razor’s Edge finisher would win… why should the champ of a soon to be dead brand beat the “so-called A Show’s” champ? Good match… uhh… 45.24/60.00 stars? I hate that star rating shit.

- Backstage time with Dibiase and Rhodes. Dibiase claims he’s better than Rhodes, enter Orton. Orton calls out Dibiase as thinking he is better than him, and that we’ll find out tonight when Ted faces Super-Cena. Orton and Rhodes will also battle each other in the evening. But who cares, since the Straight Edge Society is coming out next! Fuck yeah!

Don’t have straight-edge, but recorded a cover of “Straight Edge” by Minor Threat on one of the best 90′s punk albums ever… The original title was “White Trash, Two Kikes and a Spic.” I can’t make this stuff up, folks…

- We all place our hands on the television to save our latest member of the Straight Edge Society. Jarrett from Subway Ads is in the house, and Punk needs a good Minister of Propaganda thinking he’d be the guy to do it. Mr. Subway Diet says no thanks, so Punk sends Serena and Gallows to “recruit” him… DX is out! Ahh fuckballs, I’d love to see… actually no, sober second thought, yeah DX for the segment save!

“Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.” Bad Religion (might as well keep the mid 90′s Epitaph label’s punk band references going).

- The Miz is out too… and the Big Show… so it’s 3 teams going for the triple threat elimination tag titles! Punk fails his finisher as we resume from commercial break, and CM eats sweet chin music to eliminate the team. So essentially they got no tv time in their match. Show Miz and DX remain.

- The match continues mostly in the typical Big Show match. He plays the unstoppable heel while DX in the form of HBK plays the face in distress. HHH gets the hot tag and clears the ring… until DX has an argument allowing the Miz to capitalize! NEW UNIFIED TAG TITLE CHAMPS! SHOW MIZ! I love this… I really do.

This might not be an Epitaph reference, but it rules.

- And DX has a split up tease, as I’m sure backstage soap opera segments will fill us in on later…

- A backstage interview with the new champs has Show run down Jericho and give massive props (since he IS MASSIVE) to his awesome partner (who IS AWESOME). They bicker briefly over their tag team name as “Miz Show” or “Show Miz.” Al Creed wins with his name and likely files a lawsuit as a result.

- Cut to HBK talking to Teddy Long asking for a trade to go to Smackdown and be allowed to enter the SD Elimination Chamber match to face Taker… enter HHH who questions this request… ending in Teddy Long eating a superkick as Micheals says “My career is over.” HBK leaves dejected, HHH looks concerned… and I look happy!

“Happy Guy” by NOFX on the above album (or “Punk in Drublic” also fantastic) describes me right now. Time to move on Hunter…

- Gail Kim squashed Jillian. Maryese at ringside, and comments in the ring post match… she breaks into French to garuntee American based heel heat (even though there are a lot of French speakers in Creole Louisiana). Acadians? Wha?

- Million Dollar Man goes to the Hall of Fame this year. Awesome clip package!

- We get the host Carl and Jared with Santino shilling Subway, and then books Santino vs Swagger next week. Kofi is out, and is not wrestling tonight… the result is Jerry Springer next week will place all EC contestants to face each other in “random” singles matches next week. I guess that was surprisingly entertaining albeit had a taste of TNA booking. You know, everyone on the roster appears in like 90 seconds? Yeah. That kind of booking.

Yep.

- Orton and Rhodes… starts off with Orton trying to play a parental role while berating Cody in the ring. I’d imagine a crepe-fest between the in prime versions of Orton and Rhode’s fathers would have been better in lieu, but let’s see where this goes…. Sheamus comes out for the distraction which allows for Rhodes to grab the win. Super short match dissolves into the champ going for the post match beat down… although Rhodes comes in with a chair to right away to get the paleness out of the ring. Legacy is in total WTF mode right now… cut to clips, and…

More post RAW TV last week between Cena a Batista… saw it on Smackdown.

- Carl Edwards makes some announcement about next week… oh what we saw in the last segment… wait, he starts making the matches for the EC entrants even though he was going to let Jerry Springer do the booking. So, it took them about 15 minutes to completely crepe what they just did. Dumb.

- Cena versus Dibiase. Sort of. See, Cena takes it outside and more or less kills Ted knocking him unconscious. So, two retardedly short matches in a row. Ted taps, Cena holds on and the match never starts. Lot’s of segments + short matches = TNA booking.

- Math equations and Epitaph punk references seem to be tonight’s theme.

- Cena runs down on Batista in prototypical (ha ha “prototype” was Cena’s developmental gimmick, I made more funny there than the segment). Commercials develop as Batista fails to come out… Just floating down here for time…

I can’t tell you how much I would smark out if this guy (better than Doink) came out instead of Grandpa ‘Tista. Speaking of Epitaph punk bands, the skate punk legends “Pennywise” are named after the above hero to children everywhere.

- Cena was ranting during the ads, and we come back to him calling out Vince McMahon. Cena challenges Vince to leave his security behind and discuss the reprecussions of the Bastista/Vince/Hart thing last week.

“I am the ultimate… SUPREME alpha male” Vince tells Cena. Also he signs the paychecks (the latter not mentioned).

- Vince tells us he paid off Batista to attack Hart. Cena questions the logic of why Batista went on to attack him… logic enters Russo land… Cena rips on Vince for being only about the money (ok at least they continue the used chewing gum thing)… claims Vince’s money corrupted Batista’s mind, while Cena is about it for the love of wrestling. Cheap pops, but still appreciated. Who knows why the fuck I watch this, other than the love of the moments that matter (which Cena’s promo essentially states).

- Long story short, this was an excellent promo. Result is that McMahon makes the match versus him against Hart at WrestleMania… Vince has one more person to state his declaration of a match. Vince makes a cheap shot at our “igloos” up here in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Hey dick, I paid good money for this igloo…

- Hart runs in and attacks Vince! McMahon backs out on the match and tells Bret “You deserve to be screwed!” Hart starts destroying the equipment as in the Montreal Screwjob as Vince scurries away… Yep, no he goes to the announce table and destroys that shit too. My fault, in all fairness… sorry ’bout that. All we need now is Hogan spitting on Angle on TNA next week to connect the TNA/RAW retort… WWE logo appears and like a drug induced dream, RAW ends…

Final Thoughts: Some parts of this show put a smile on my face!

While other parts made me do this:

What the fuck was that? TNA?

So, when I hear the masses of the IWC bitch about TNA style booking, they should consider that tonight was fairly similar. It is the same old criticism smarks make about 3 week builds towards a PPV in McMahon world long ago. Lots of potential, but too much at once that made for an entertaining, but also, a rushed RAW. Shitty host… What was the point of the Jerry Springer bit if he will not be announcing random EC competitors next week? That pissed me off the most as a “sufferer.” With so many short matches tonight…. sigh. Still enjoyed tonight.

WWE booking ripped off Al Creed’s “Show Miz” and my “FFW” at the same time.

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TNA

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Check that episode here —–> link/jump.

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Smackdown

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- Check that episode here —–> link/jump.

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ECW

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- Note that this show will cease to exist as of February 19. As it dies a slow death in the ratings acme of Canadian television primetime (3 AM), it will serve as my Sunday Morning time killer as I set up my Yahoo! Hockey Pools for Week 19. Also, I have to give a kudos to Armchair MVP who beat me in this week’s head-to-head round… bastard…

- Also, I have no clue whether I will receive “NXT” (the show replacing ECW). Like Superstars, which is still not back on TV in my market, if I no longer review it, it is likely because I can’t. Sorry in advance… anyways let’s get to one of the last ECW episodes… ever!

- The opening lyrics of the show are kind of funny to here… Vince McMahon is here to address the future of the show… ohh Christ, its Christian on the Abraham Washington Show. Hmm… I might as well watch this since it will be the last (or one of them). It doesn’t make it funny, and the crowd is dead as the future of ECW. Zack Ryder comes out to interrupt and exposes the Helm’s arrest from last week… Christian defends him. It’s watchable… just barely,

- There’s no stopping Shelton Benjamin…. except his show being cancelled. He’s out to wrestle Lance Archer. This starts off pretty good. I think Archer is not very good, but Benjamin usually can carry anyone through a decent match. And it’s Shelton bouncing and flying all around the ring to do just that… segment two is up next… Archer is now in control… rest hold… meh. Vance’s offensive strategy is slow and plodding and full of submissions. Oh god, an armbar? Fucks sakes. Benjamin takes control again, and as well, the match is exciting again. Archer ruins the show by picking up an undeserved win.

- RAW recap = FFW.

- Yoshi Tatsu with Golddust at ringside (who have both been great lately) are up against Baretta with Croft at ringside. These guys can really go! Stupid gimmick for Baretta, but he shows up to play tonight. Yoshi grabs the win in a fun watch.

- Vinnie-Mac is out next to deliver an advance eulogy (which reportedly pissed off Taz and made RVD marvel that the show was still on the air). He announces the shows death in his first sentence. The crowd hardly reacts… a murmur of boos. His announcement is that NXT is the next evolution of television history. The crowd cheers.. but sounds like it is canned audio? And he walks off. The announcers look concerned (they should because they could very well be all fired). Gregory Helms stands in the ring calling out his guest, Ezekial Jackson. No reference to the arrest. Last minute time filler?

Regal – “It’s been a very trying week for you hasn’t it” at Helm’s… and its a set up for a total beatdown on everyone’s favorite TMZ expose superhero. Christian with a kendo stick makes the save.

- Christian faces Zack Ryder in our final segment of the night. Again, an okay bout, but the amount of time left in the broadcast ensures it’ll be short. Ryder almost grabs the win with a nice looking leg lariat. Christian almost does the same with a very clean cross body splash from the top ropes… killswitch on Ryder! Ezekial and Regal interfere just as the pin was inevitable. And that’s how the show ends.

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Vintage Collection

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- Kick things off with a classy tribute to Jack Brisco.

- This is a generational themed episode looking at wrestling lineage.

- July 14th 1997 – Jerry Lawler teams with Brian Christopher versus Scott and Ivan Putski. Sick piledriver by the King on Putski Jr. Brian superkicks his dad by accident allowing for the elder Putski to clear the ring face style and grab a pin on Lawler Jr. Decent bout!

-We then get a video package on the Orton lineage. I enjoyed this, although I normally hate video replay stuff on the new shows, the historical ones are usually very well produced.

- Cowboy Bob Orton versus Rowdy Roddy Piper – Saturday Night Main Event November 16 1986. I watched this on TV when I was 9. Jimmy the Mouth of the South Hart is ringside. Piper is in classic spaz mode form. Orton is the heel here…. even though Piper is biting him right now… tosses Orton into the corner ropes and Orton flips onto his neck in a sick bump…. wow this is really good for an 1980′s style match. High energy (likely motivated by cocaine?) and quick. This is nice… Hart is going fucking crazy at ringside! Awesome. Piper gets the win!

- Hardcore Holly versus Randy “Crepist” Orton in Orton’s debut match. Orton is getting the stiff service from Hardy. I watched this live as well… but as a much older G. Holly being on my TV again kind of ruins the match, but Orton at least hits a nice cross body from the top ropes. Holly, like the bitch he is, whines to the referee allowing Orton to sneak a schoolboy roll up pin for the win in an incredibly short match. Meh…

- We get the Rock and his family next. More great historical recaps and interviews. Of course they present Rock as always destined to be a wrestler and that this was his first goal… it wasn’t he rode the pine in the Canadian Football League for the Calgary Stampeders first. They did this with Orton too who was dishonourably discharged (for creping people, I’d bet) from the Marines, so…

- The Rock versus The British Bulldog… and I guess Owen Hart is out too… he confronts Bret Hart who is on commentary with Vince McMahon. Owen stands at the table to ensure Bret doesn’t interfere. What a weird scene to watch in retrospect. The match is pretty much in the background…. This one is a nice ride! Stone Cold runs in attacks the two, runs out drawing Bret with him and Owen at the Bulldog’s side. I never saw this segment!

- Finally, it’s Mr. Perfect with Bobby Hennan faces the Texas Tornado at Summerslam in 1990… loses the IC title… between this are fucking good promos by Perfect. Then to the ring… Ted Dibiase introduces two second gen wrestlers in Tornado and Perfect in the rematch for the title… Another good match! DIbiase watching from ringside and acting smug and cocky is gold! Ref is out, Dibiase interferes, belt-shot to the head of Tornado! Picks up Perfect, Hennan tries to revive the ref (Hebner) as Perfect Perfectplexes and pins Tornado for the win… Dibiase announces the new IC champ! Big smile on this smark’s face.
You know why this is generally the best show on TV in regards for wrestling? Because it is exactly like the stereotypical TNA iMPACT episode. They cram a lot of things in real quick and give you the story super fast. The problem with the TNA model is that nothing gets established to build heat nor storyline (stereotypically, there are some exceptions in TNA-land). WWE can show the most significant parts that were built and understood stories from an archive of clips that generally kick ass.

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Other “News”

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- ECW has been announced as officially dead. “NXT” will replace it, and what that means at this time is not completely clear. However it is understood that it will be a showcase of new talent (which is essential what the current version of ECW). February 23 is the last date for this so-called brand. Taz is pissed.

So do we call it “next” or “N. X. T.” If it’s an acronym, does it stand for “Never Xtreme Television?”

- TNA is no longer listing a Monday March 1st episode, rather back to Thursday. Flip flop… I’ll try to fill you in to what’s going on as best I can, but at the moment it’s a lost cause to worry about something a month away.

- Scott Steiner is reported to be finished with TNA. I can’t say I’ve enjoyed him much in the last decade, however, I did enjoy his run with the Mainevent Mafia.

- The RVD pursuit continues. Angrymarks.com is reporting that Hogan was on RVD Radio a little while back. Hogan said that he spoke with Jeff Hardy who is pushing the company towards signing Rob. RVD would make no comment on air in regards to this.

- Scott D’Amore has returned to Ontario and has spearheaded a merge of BSE Pro Wrestling and Border CIty Wrestling into a new super regional promotion called “Maximum Pro Wrestling.”

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Recommended Reading

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Here’s some stuff worth checking out that I stumbled upon through the week for you smarks wanting more. And, they are likely better written than I could do.

- I’ve alluded to the rumors of the demise of ECW for weeks, if not months, in these articles. It’s official (as referenced in the above “other news” section. Turns out RVD didn’t know it was still in existence.

- RD Lee over at World Wrestling Insanity wrote an article speculating about “What Could Have Been – Muhammed Hussan.” It’s a smart piece, and worth checking out.

- The Wrestling Fan is/was a great website. Few updates other than recaps stem from the place these days, and with the Canadian Bulldog/Crazy Uncle Ralph defecting to World Wrestling Insanity (awesome site), it is rarely injected with a dose of editorial funny. Not the case this week.

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Random Morphine Reference:

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- Cane/Hat Man prefers not to be put in difficult situations.

Too much wrestling to sit through all of it…FFW that shit people! Until next week or another time, I’m out!

* “chronological” Way to go Astroboy!

Tags: angle, Cena, cm punk, ECW, edge, flair, hardy, Hogan, impact, nash, new, Non, PPV, RAW, Reviews, rumor, Smackdown, Stop, styles, Superstars, tag, Television, tna, Total, Vintage Collection, wrestle, wwe, WWF

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 7:08 am and is filed under Reviews, Television, Wrestling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.